Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Translations

In public relations, a big part of the business is finding a way to put a positive spin on an otherwise negative quality. This we find when buying a used car, house, or selecting a political candidate.

What I've found, repeatedly is that people do this when they are talking about their own short comings. However, it can become incredibly dangerous when folks begin to believe their own publicity, hence delusion sets in. Example:

I keep it real = I lack tact and discretion.

I'm a Christian = I go to church once and a while so that people will think I'm a good person, and I can sit in judgment of others.

I'm a Born Again Christian = I'm ashamed of a lot of stuff that I've done and photos probably still exist, and I can sit in judgment of others.

I'm a Muslim = I want to be like Jesus, and I can sit in judgment of others.

I'm a free spirit = I expect others to take care of me and my responsibilities.

You only live once = I regret so many things in my life that I've turned to drinking and/or drugs
I'm ready for a serious relationship = (See "I'm a Born Again Christian")

I like to conversate = I like to gossip and I'm too ignorant to know that conversate is not a word.
I'm selective about who I associate with = Most people find my attitude stank and don't want to deal with me

I'm sensitive = I lack tact and discretion but I expect you to exude it with every breath

I'm detail oriented = I'm bad at meeting deadlines or being on time for appointments

I'm a very caring person = I like being in other people's business, it takes my mind off of my own problems.

I'm a very generous person = I give lots of free advise

I love too much = I'm an obsessive control freak

I'm getting my act together (When you're over 25) = (Select any three of the above and combine them)

I'm exploring my career options = I got fired or I'm on the verge of getting fired or I've lost my grip on reality and quit my job and I'm having trouble finding a new one.

I like feeling needed = I'm the enabler to a bunch of radical co-dependants.

I'm friendly = I'm desperate for the approval and affection of others.

I'm a private person = I've done a lot of things that I'm ashamed of, burned the photos and paid off or killed the witnesses.

I'm patient = I have other things to occupy my time while you get it together.

I'm dedicated = I have no life.

You don't believe me? The next time you hear somebody make one of these statements, sit back and observe...

COPYRIGHT 2010 - Mwalim (MJ Peters)

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